Holding you closer than most
by LoveGossipGirl
Summary: My name is Naomi Campbell and I always manage to mess everything up. How? I have no idea. AU
1. Chapter 1

**I love all these fantastic Naomi & Emily fanfics and so I decided to write one by myself. Hope you like it, but this is my first Skins fanfic, so I am afraid it may be not as good as I would like it to be. I know it's really short at the moment, but I have a lot of ideas for next chapters, I just need to know if there'll be anyone who'd like me to continue.**** Anyway, please, review and tell me what you think. :) **

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_"My name is Naomi Campbell and I always manage to __mess everything up._

_How?_

_I have no idea…"_

Naomi started writing and she felt all her sadness and anger growing.

_Fantastic… Writing a story about myself. Another __fucking thing I am not even good at. Fuck! _She thought, remembering her therapist's words ("Try it, Naomi… It always helps to put your affairs in order.")

_Right, girl. You want it, you have it…_ Somehow she managed to smile. She had no idea how, after all that happened…

_Jesus… Let'__s cope with it. Sooner rather than later…_

_"It all started at a party. Sometimes I have an impression that almost every important thing in my life started at a party. Another party, another dress, another boy… _

_Jesus, why am I deceiving myself? I never wanted it, did I? All this fucking 'popularity', all these 'cute' admirers, all these 'true' friends.__ All this… fucking life. But well, that all happened and I couldn't do anything about it. I guess people usually want to find someone to control them; they want to find a boss. And when at the first day at school you are unkind to teachers, you definitely seem to be the one. Jesus… Unbelievable, isn't it? I even didn't mean to be rude to this poor sociology teacher. I just hate people who think they are always right and don't even have anything to prove it. And that's how it started – I became popular (and that was already strange, because I wasn't even a cheerleader), but that wasn't all – somehow the most popular girl in the school showed her interest to be my best friend. I didn't have one, so I agreed. She was nice (well, sort of) and cute and she never asked how I was, so I didn't have to pretend that everything was fine. She just wanted two things – she wanted it to be obvious that I am HER best friend and that together we have absolute power. I didn't care and I was sure she didn't either. It was all for popularity. Well, from her point of view. For me it was just… safe. It was a friendship I didn't have to put any effort in, so I wasn't close to her, so I was… safe. No one could hurt me, because only people who were close to me could do it. Like… my mother for example. Yeah, at the moment she was the only important person for me. About the rest I just didn't care. Terrifying._

_So, my so called best friend and I were the most popular girls at school. Most boys from the school basketball team were in love with her and most introverted, quiet rock stars were in love with me. __Boys. She wanted them all so much. A different one every week - that's what was giving her real power. But for me, all of them were just annoying. I was seventeen, I was searching for my true love and I was desperate to find it. I didn't want to have another boyfriend every, let's say, twice a week. I wanted my one and only. But I had to test them all…_

_My best friend wasn't even __interested in pretending that she was listening to me. Well, I can't say I was. The only thing that we were doing together (after school) was going to parties. None of us was interested in a deeper relationship. We were both cool with it, definitely._

_Katie Fucking Fitch. How much I'd give now to be given a chance to never get to know you."_

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**Should I continue?**_  
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	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you all for reviews and alerts, it really means a lot for me! :)) just wanted to add that English is not my first language, so please, forgive me any mistakes! This is just a chapter before some interesting (I hope) things will happen, I had to write it so that you all know what this whole thing is about. ;)) Review, please, it really makes my day! :)))**

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_" So, as I said, it all started __at a party… _

"_Naom__i, there's a party at my place, next Saturday. You are in, right?" asked Katie (well, I'm not sure if that was a question – probably she was just telling me that I'm in) one day, when we were sitting in the cafeteria eating our lunch (double cheeseburger and a chocolate cake for me and a few carrots for her. Terrible, isn't it?). _

"_Emmm… Well, yeah, of course, K. What style this time?" Katie's parties were well-known to be not only perfectly organized, but also really original and unique. Everyone at the college heard about the "Rastafarian" one, a party that she was organizing last year, her first one - it was already a legend, I guess – with loads of grass, green-red-yellow balloons and, unfortunately, a police after all. Surprisingly, Katie never wanted to repeat it, so she just kept thinking about new motives she could use._

"_Audrey Hepburn's, what do you think 'bout it?" she asked and closed her eyes, probably imagining a dress she was going to wear._

"_Oh, elegant? Something new. But what are you going to do, all girls __will wear the same dresses, you won't be unique any longer, hm?" I was really surprised, that was absolutely something strange._

"_Yes, I will!" said Katie __triumphantly, opening her stylish bag and taking out a sheet of paper. She handed me it with probably a widest smile I have ever seen._

"_Uh, what's that?" I asked, a bit terrified by all these small letters, arrows and lines. Complicated._

"_A list!" she answered, her eyes shining with happiness and pride. "You can find there every Audrey's character, taken from any movie she has ever played in. And they are all different! So, every girl can choose which style she'd like, and then I will make sure that she'll be the only one wearing it. Brilliant, isn't it?"_

"_Oh, yeah, sort of. So, a small party this time, I guess? I mean, there are not thousands of Audrey's characters, you simply can't invite whole school if you want it to look like that."_

"_Right, I forgot to tell you! Jesus, I am so stupid. It's going to be a really intimate meeting, uhm, well, intimate means there won't be more than twenty people, just the closest ones, 'cause I am going to introduce you all to my sister!" said Katie, smiling._

"_Emily? You didn't mention she is coming next weekend."_

_Katie just shrugged her shoulders._

"_Oh, forgot 'bout that, sorry. But I'm sure you will become cool friends! Jesus, I haven't seen her for ages! Fucking boarding school…"_

"_Well, I'm looking forward to get to know her. Seems like it's gonna be a great party." I said, looking at my cake._

"_Yeah, I want it to be perfect. Emily is always such a fantastic sister, she deserves the best." That was the first time I have heard Katie talking about anyone like that. This was a day full of surprises. "Em has already chosen her character, she wants to be Princess Ann. I'd like to be Holly Golightly, but only if you don't want to be her."_

"_Okay, you can be Holly, you're the right one I guess. Then I'll be…" I had to think for a second, not because I didn't know what to choose, but because I couldn't even remember any Audrey's character other than Princess Ann or Holly Golightly.__ I looked at a list, "Ummmm, maybe… Regina Lampert? '__Charade'?"_

"_Good idea! Definitely! You will be an ideal Reggie."_

"_Haha, I hope so… But what are you going to do with boys? What do you want them to look like?" I wasn't really interested in it, I just had a feeling that this party is something Katie really cares about, so I had to pretend it was important for me too. And besides, I really wanted to get to know Katie's sister, I have heard about her a lot._

"_Oh, haha, you are going to be totally impressed… No boys this time! I don't want Em__si to feel weird, and she always does when there are a lot of boys she doesn't know around. That's why I'm going to invite only girls, so that Emily will be able to find some new friends without all that stress."_

"_Really impressive! I'm so proud of you, Katiekins!" I said, smiling. "C'mon, I don't want to be late on Math… Hugo's gonna kill me if I'm late once again." "  
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	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you for all your reviews and alerts, I really appreciate it! :)) Anyway, I could use some more feedback, because honestly, I am not sure if you really want me to continue! However, I promise you that this chapter is the last "describing" one (well, for now. ;)). I wanted Emily to show up personally in this chapter, but when I started writing I simply couldn't stop and had to describe everything, so that's why I haven't reached the party yet. Anyway, I hope you guys like it and I am really dying to see your reviews to know what you think about this story! :)) I promise I will update ASAP if you want me to! :))**

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_"Of course, we were late to Math again, but surprisingly, Hugo didn't kill me – he didn't even say a word! I guess it was all thanks to Katie and her amazingly low neckline._

_However, a few days have passed, invitations had been sent to all of the lucky ones and all of these were looking forward to the famous Katie's party…_

_"Naomes! Guess what!" shouted Katie on Friday evening when I finally answered a phone. She sounded really happy. "Emily just called me and she said she's coming on Saturday with her boyfriend! Isn't that great?" She was so loud that I had to push the phone a few centimeters away from my ear._

_"Boyfriend? Woah, that's nice! Haven't you told me that she is in an all-female school?"_

_"She is! So what? Hey, she is not just sitting in her room all the time, huh? She's my sister, girl!" said Katie proudly. I couldn't help but smile. Seems like thanks to Emily and her coming on Saturday, Katie started to act like my real best friend. I mean – calling me to talk about her sister? That was something new._

_"Oh, yeah, now I see…" I said and after a second we were both laughing hard._

_"Katie, stop for a second, please…" I said after few minutes of laughing. "Wait… She's coming with her boyfriend? But what are you going to do if that was supposed to be an only-girls-are-invited party? Maybe Emily won't feel weird, but her poor boyfriend definitely will, with twenty girls he doesn't even know."_

_"I know that, so I have an idea. Wanted to ask you what you think 'bout it. I asked Freddie to organize an only-boys-are-invited party and to invite Em's boyfriend."_

_"And he agreed?"_

_"Of course he agreed, silly! I asked him, so isn't that obvious?" asked Katie. She probably didn't need an answer. "I know that Em's boyfriend doesn't know these boys at all, but Emily and he are going to stay in Bristol for two weeks or so, so I thought that it'd be cool if he could find some friends, so that we could go to a club together one day. What do you think?"_

_"Great idea! I guess he'd use some friends here, and it will definitely be easier for him to make friends with few boys drinking beer and watching football than with twenty girls looking like Audrey Hepburn. Did you tell Emily?"_

_"Of course I did. She agreed, she also thinks it's a good idea. And, besides, I'm sure they'll both use some time away from each other. Haha…"_

_"Right… So, you need some help with the preparations?" I asked, also trying to be a real best friend._

_"Sure, can you be at my place tomorrow at, let's say, four? Emily is coming at seven and the party will start at eight, so that we all will be able to get ready."_

_"Okay, I'll be there at four. Mum wants me to go downstairs, so see you tomorrow!"_

_"Yeah, don't forget that you are Reggie! Bye!" She said and hung up._

_***_

_This Saturday I woke up really early, 'cause I had to do some shopping and prepare my clothes before going to Katie's. I have already planned what to wear, but I was too lazy to try it on and now I was a bit nervous that it won't look as good as I planned it to. I opened my wardrobe and took out my clothes for today – a lace black dress, black stilettos, knee-lenght yellow coat and a small yellow handbag. I added a long scarf, huge sunglasses, bright gloves and some silver jewellery. I tried it all on and looked in the mirror. It definitely wasn't my style, but I was satisfied with the way it looked like – quite elegant and refined. I felt a great relief that I didn't have to change it and waste my time searching for different clothes. I was wondering what Katie would look like as Holly. I was sure that she won't miss the chance to impress everyone and especially her sister._

_Katie has told me a lot about Emily – well, we didn't have lots of subjects to talk about (except for parties and boys, and I was easily getting tired with these themes and didn't want to talk about them too much) while eating our lunch or sitting on the courtyard. So I knew that Emily is shy and quiet, that she has never showed any interest in anyone (and that's why Katie was really surprised, but also amazingly happy, that Emily has finally found herself a boyfriend. Katie was dying to know that boy – she couldn't imagine anyone perfect enough to satisfy Emily) and that she didn't really have a friend, because she wasn't able to open and let anyone in (just the same as me and Katie I guess. Seems like that's a really perennial problem). I also knew that Katie and Emily were very close to each other before Emily went to "fucking boarding school" and that Emily always had better grades than Katie. Anyway, Emily seemed like a really interesting person and besides, I was dying to know why she had left her family house. Katie obviously didn't know (or didn't want to tell me) the reasons and every time I asked her about it, her answer was:_

_"Oh my God, I really have absolutely no idea why she did it! One day she told us that she has found a fantastic school in Manchester and that she would like to start learning there. My parents found out that this is one of the best colleges in whole country and they were really proud that their daughter would learn in such a school. Well, they always wanted her to become a lawyer. So one day she just left… Anyway, I have already told you about it, have you forgotten?"_

_Well, I didn't know Emily in person, but somehow I couldn't believe that higher standards of that school were the only reason. Maybe that was because I knew Katie a bit (after all…) and I was sure that they couldn't have been so different."_


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for alerts and reviews! I hope you like this chapter. :)**

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_„Oh, hey, good you're here, we've lot to do" said Katie when she opened the door and saw me standing on the doorstep, really wet, 'cause it had been fucking raining all the way Katie's home and I was obviously not that intelligent to take an umbrella with me, very idealisticly hoping it's just a few raindrops and it'll stop raining soon. Jesus. Katie frowned. "Erm, you look awful, just to be honest… And, what the fuck? Jeans and a huge T-shirt? Where are your Reggie's clothes?" she looked at me as if I was insane._

_"Everything's here," I said, pointing at my favourite colourful bag. "Didn't want to destroy them while preparing your house for that legendary party! Guess it was a good choice, 'cause, as you may see, it's raining like hell."_

_"Oh, right, Jesus, sorry, Naomes," said Katie and moved over a bit so that I was able to come inside. Katie closed the door. "So… my parents had just left, they'll be back tomorrow in the afternoon. Well…" she said, looking at her stylish Chanel watch. "We've got like three hours to Emily's arrival. She is never late, so we better hurry up a bit if we want everything to be ready at seven," she added, coming into a really clean living room. "Look, I've bought few bottles of wine – some red and some white, and I've also got whiskey, well, somewhere, and breezers. You think it's enough?" she asked, a bit confused._

_"Yeah, definitely, I guess. I brought two bottles of jack. Anyway, we don't want to be too drunk? I mean, what are Emily's views on drinking?"_

_"Don't really know, but rather radical I think. Never seen her drunk, but I was hoping that maybe she'll get drunk a bit the other day in the club for example?"_

_I really didn't know why it seemed that she was asking me for the permission._

_"Yes, guess it'd be better than making her drink too much today, when she'll just get to know all of us."_

_"You're right, that's supposed to be an elegant meeting. And no grass this time, I won't let you make us wired!" she said almost totally seriously, looking me in the face, but I couldn't help but smile when I saw those twinkles in her eyes._

_"Well, then I guess I'll have to throw it away. Sad," I said, taking few joints out from my bag's front pocket and looking at it pretending to have tears in my eyes (blinking very quickly)._

_"Jesus, Naomes, why do you always have to do this?" asked Katie pretending to be angry, but smiling._

_"Sorry…" I said and we both cracked up. Oh my God, that girl was really becoming my best friend._

_"Right, right… Shut up!" she shouted at me, still smiling and really hard trying not to laugh again._

_"Ok, ok, I've… hahaha… shouted up." I said and sat on the sofa, hiding my face in hands._

_"Stand up, Naomi! We don't have time for sitting on the sofa!" said Katie and opened the kitchen door. "I've prepared a lot of food by myself, but we've still got some salads to make, and we have to put everything into the oven so that it'd be hot and ready when the guests will come. And we have to do it quickly, look at you, you need a lot of time to make yourself ready for Emily's arrival!" she said, pointing at my messed up hair and completely smeared make up._

_"Jesus, fucking rain!" I said angrily, but stood up and directed my steps towards kitchen._

***

_"Phew, I think everything is ready now…" said Katie when we sat on the armchairs exhausted. "Let's think for a minute… four bowls of fruit salad, three of vegetable, and two of tuna salad… there are not many people who like that. So, we can say that salads are prepared. Then, lots of toasts and hot-dogs, few huge pizzas, a lot of cookies and some cakes… Yeah, I guess we are ready for anything!"_

_"Guess you're right," I said neutrally. I had absolutely no idea who'd eat all that food. Has Katie forgotten that she has invited only girls? Fit girls, who will probably eat only fruit salad? Without whipped cream, of course?_

_So, we talked for a bit and then we turned to Katie's room. We had about an hour to seven and we were both a bit nervous – Katie, because she wasn't sure if everything was REALLY ready and I, because it was the first time I had a chance to meet Katie's sister!_

_"I think you should take a quick shower. Otherwise we won't be able to make your hair look good," said Katie and gave me a huge blue towel. "Hurry up, we don't have a lot of time. I'll take our clothes out and make them ready meanwhile."_

_Then, while I was drying my hair, Katie was taking a shower. After that she straightened my hair and put a little bit of make up on my face._

_"You don't need anything else, it looks fantastic like that! It's sooo Audrey!" She said, really proud of herself. I looked in the mirror. God, that girl really knew how to make me look great! I've always thought it was impossible._

_***  
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_"So, may I see the guests list?" I asked when we were sitting, both ready, just waiting for Emily to come._

_"Yeah, sure!" said Katie and gave me the piece of paper._

_"Oh," I said, looking at names. Seems like Katie hasn't invited "the closest ones", as she was saying earlier, but "the most popular ones". Well, except for a few that Katie just couldn't stand – like Effy Stonem, the only person in that school that didn't give a damn about Katie and about popularity. Well, she probably didn't care about anything and anyone at all. And Katie – and not only her, I guess – knew very well, that if Effy would like to, she'd become faaar more popular than Katie. So that's not strange Katie just didn't like her, is it?_

_"What? Is something wrong?" Katie frowned._

_"No, no, I just… well, never mind. I can't wait for that party to start!" I said and smiled (well, maybe that smile was a little bit fake, but Katie obviously didn't notice)._

_"Yeah, me too!" she shouted, very excited. Then the doorbell rang._

_"Oh, that must be her! C'mon, let's make a surprise! Hide here, I'll open the door and let Em in and then you'll show up!"_

_"Right, whatever," I said. Katie went to the hall and opened the door. Then I heard two girls screaming happily._

_"Katie, it's so good to see you," said a lower, husky voice. "It has changed a bit here."_

_"Well, that usually happens if you don't visit your family house for almost a year…" said Katie, closing the door. I made my way towards the door and saw Katie talking to a red head that was standing close to her, with her back turned to me. Katie smiled._

_"Turn round, Emsi, I want you to meet someone!"_

_The red head turned round. Her eyes widened._

_"Shit," said Emily._


	5. Chapter 5

**So, this is the next chapter. Thank you for your feedback, I really appreciate it. :)**

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_At first I didn't even notice what she was __saying, because I was too busy looking at her. It seemed like all my senses except for sight had somehow turned off when I saw her. She was looking so peaceful, but at the same time you could feel some mystical power in her, like in an elf or something. _

_Emily was far prettier than Katie__, at least in my opinion. You could see, of course, that they are twins, but Emily had something that Katie has never had and though I couldn't say what it was yet, I was hoping that I'd be given a chance to find it out soon. She was so beautiful it was even hard to describe. Her long, really red hair, her rosy cheeks, her perfect, pale face, her fantastic body, the way she bit her lip and the way she was trying to avoid my eye, at the same time seeming to want to catch it desperately…_

"_What's wrong, Em?" aske__d Katie, looking at her __with an expression of complete surprise__._

_Emily raised her eyes and turned them towards Katie __apologetically._

"_Sorry, it's nothing, I've just… remembered that I forgot to call mum when I got to Bristol, she asked me to do it,__ that's all," said Emily uncertainly and quietly._

"_Come on, Emsi, are you crazy? You're overreacting, as always… We can call her in a minute," said Katie. It seemed like she believed her, or maybe she just didn't want not to believe._

"_Yes, I know, you're right," Emily muttered and lowered her eyes._

"_Whatever… So, as I said, this is my best friend Naomi," said Katie and turned her eyes towards me. "Naomi, this is my sister Emily."_

_I was trying really hard to move and come closer to her so that I'd be able to shake her hand, but somehow I just couldn't. It seemed like she had the same problem. However, she was the first one who managed to take those two steps. She shook my hand gently and her touch made me froze._

"_Hi, Naomi, it's really nice to meet you," she said. Her voice made me shiver. I was hoping Emily didn't sense it. She finally looked me in the eye. These were the eyes of a scared little animal and I had to stop myself from hugging her and not letting her go. Ever._

"_Hi," I __mumbled and cleared my throat, 'cause my voice was far too hoarse. "I'm glad to meet you too," I said a bit louder and smiled._

_Emily didn't smile back,__ she just turned her face away and looked at Katie, who was looking at us strangely._

"_So, what are your plans for today?" asked Emily. _

"_Erm, we have to wait for the rest of guests to arrive, we've got like half and hour or so. Everything is ready, we don't have to be worried. Maybe come with me upstairs, I'll show you the rest of the house? I mean, I feel like you're a guest, you haven't been here for ages."_

"_Oh, Katie, __stop complaining, you know I couldn't come earlier."_

"_Yeah, yeah, right… Naomi, you're going with us?" Katie looked at me questioningly._

"_Uhm__, no, I guess I'll stay here in case someone will come before eight._

"_Ok, whatever." Katie __smiled and turned her eyes towards Emily. "Come on, Emsi," she said and started walking upstairs._

_Emily followed her and when she turned her back to me I could see taunt muscles of her neck. Why was she so nervous?_

_I sat on the sofa, completely puzzled__ and confused. What was that all about? Why did Emily react like that? "Shit" isn't a nice way of greeting someone, is it? And did Katie really believe her? Or maybe she just wanted to discuss it later, without me in sight? Too many questions, too few answers. No, not too few. NO answers._

_Anyway, I couldn't understand MY reaction either. I mean – what __happened to me when I saw her? Why wasn't I able to move? I've met this girl for the first time, and it seemed like she was the first person who has managed to make me feel like I had no idea what to do._

_Then I heard some voices upstairs__. I got up from the sofa._

"_No. No, Katie, ok? Just NO," said Emily and started running down the stairs. On the last step she stumbled and ran into me. Her hands tightening on my shoulders – it was just enough to make me hold my breathe._

"_Oh, sorry," she mu__ttered, not even looking me in the eye and turned to kitchen. I had to refrain myself from turning round to look at her once again. I saw Katie walking downstairs with a fake smile on her face._

"_What happened?" I asked, completely dumbfounded. _

"_That's nothing, really," she said. "Well, everyone should be here in a minute, I'll turn the music on."_

_She was right. The doorbell rang again right after the first song. I opened the door._

"_Hello, Naomes!" shouted Katie's guests and they made their way inside. Twenty girls dressed up as Audrey Hepburn – I couldn't help but smile. Katie was a fucking genius._

_***_

_After half an hour Katie's "elegant meeting" changed into a usual piss-up. It turned out that every guest brought something to drink, so we ended up having ten bottles of JD, few bottles of vodka, three martinis and a lot of wine. Food remained untouched._

_I was searching for Emily but I couldn't find her anywhere. Then a strange thought struck me. Was it possible that she was still in the kitchen? I directed my steps towards there._

_I saw her right when I crossed the threshold. She was standing there, her head bended down, hands leaning on a cupboard, tears falling down her cheeks. She was looking so __vulnerable that I couldn't stop myself any longer. I came closer to her, gently placed my hand on her shoulder, turned her around and hugged her. She froze, but eventually placed her hands on my back. I felt her tears on my shoulder._

"_What are you doing?" she asked._

"_Trying to help my best friend's sister."_

"_Oh," she said and pushed me away a bit. I looked at her. _

_She raised her head and __brushed her tears quickly._

_Then Emil__y crossed her arms on her chest and looked me in the face, obviously trying really hard to prevent her tears from falling again._

"_I came here, 'cause…" I sta__rted, looking at the cupboard. "The party has already started, Katie is looking for you, she wants to introduce you to her friends. Erm… Guess you should hurry up, they all will be literally fucked up in a minute"._

_Emily raised her eyebrow and didn't say a word._

"_Well, whatever," I said. "Sorry I interrupted you." I moved round and left the kitchen. I was really angry. How could I not be? What the fuck was wrong with that girl? Why was she acting like that?_

"_Oh, here you are," I heard Katie's voice. "Jesus, can you see what's happening? It was supposed to be an elegant meeting! Oh my God, I'm so mad __with all of them! Have you seen Emily?"_

"_She's in the kitchen. Guess you should talk to her immediately," I said and started walking away from her._

"_Right. Naomes? I am really sorry, I don't know what happened with her today," she said and it sounded like she really was sorry._

"_Hope you will find out," I shrugged my shoulders and went upstairs._

_***_

_When I was just about to leave the toilet, I heard voices right near the door._

"_I just don't feel quite well, can you understand that, Katie?"_

"_Of course I can, but I want to know why. You're my sister, Em, and believe it or not, I know you. Don't expect me to believe that it's a stomachache or something," said Katie._

"_I do know you __know me, Katie. And I'm sorry I can't tell you the truth."_

"_You can tell me the truth!"_

"_Not this time, Katie. I'm really sorry. I guess I'll go to bed,"__ murmured Emily._

"_I'll tell everyone to leave. And we will have time to __talk; maybe we'll watch some movies or something? Naomi sleeps over tonight, is that ok?" asked Katie._

"_Erm… You know what, Katie, maybe I should sleep over at Pandora's tonight? She wanted me to visit her one day… I'll ask her, hope she isn't too drunk yet," said Emily and I heard her walking downstairs._

"_What? Em, what the fuck?" Katie obviously followed her._

_I was standing there, hand on the door handle and I had absolutely no idea what the hell was going on. Eventually I managed to come back to the living room, where I saw Emily talking to Pandora. I came closer._

"…_so, may I sleep over?" asked Emily._

"_Yeah, sure, whizzer... I'll go and get some drink, do you want some too?" It seemed like Pandora was really high. _

"_No, thanks, Panda," said Emily and turned round. She rolled her eyes when she saw me. I didn't care._

"_I came to say goodbye, I'm going home," I said, looking her in the eye._

_She raised her eyebrow._

"_Katie said you're going to stay here."_

"_Well, I'm not. Mum's just called me, she wants me home. So, bye, it was really nice to meet you."_

"_Yeah, bye," I barely heard what she was saying but I wasn't going to turn round. I've had enough for one day.

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**I'm really, really sorry it sucks, but I was hoping to get over the fucking writer's block by trying to write anyway. Well, as you may see, it definitely didn't work. I promise next chapter will be better.**_  
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	6. Chapter 6

**I know that the previous chapter was really crappy, I hope this one is better! :)**

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_A week passed and I didn't even have a chance to see Emily. It was something new and strange, but I was actually really missing her. I didn't know why and I was trying to fight with it, but it didn't work. I was completely desperate just to look at her once again. Of course, I have seen Katie every fucking day at school and all she was doing was talking about Emily, but it was just pissing me off a lot, because it didn't seem like I was going to see her EVER again._

_But apparently, finally all my prayers were answered._

_"We're going to the club on Friday. You're in?" asked Katie when we were coming back from school on Wednesday afternoon._

_"Guess I am," I answered calmly, but I felt that everything in my stomach started to dance for joy. I had to stop myself from starting to act like Panda when she was excited._

_Katie beamed._

_"Great! My parents are leaving to London tomorrow in the morning, so I'm not going to go to school for these two days, you know, I have to take care of Emsi, I can't let her be bored and sit alone in the house! So, see you on Friday, let's say eight o'clock at Oceana."_

_Anyway, it wasn't all._

_Katie called me on Thursday afternoon._

_"Naomes, you remember that guy, Peter, the one that my mum didn't quite like and didn't want me to go out with?"_

_"Of course I do," I said. "How could I forget that crazy junkie?"_

_"Okay, haha, so, he wants to meet me tonight, but, Jesus, my parents are out of the city at the moment and I feel bad that I'll have to leave Emsi alone – you know, she just got here and stuff. So, will you please help me?"_

_"I'll try, but how?"_

_"I really, really want to meet with him, ok? But I have to make sure that Emily will have fun meanwhile too. Will you come to my house and stay with her? You can watch movies or anything, and you'll get to know each other better before Friday party."_

_"Erm, does Emily know about your idea?" I asked, a bit confused._

_"Not really, I wanted it to be a surprise!" shouted Katie. God, she and her surprises…_

_"I don't think she'd like it," I muttered sadly, 'cause I knew it was true – Emily didn't want to meet me and I still didn't know why._

_"Why not?! Of course she would like it! She'd love it!" Katie sounded really convinced about it. God, I wish I was that sure too._

_"Have you seen how she was acting on Saturday? She doesn't like me."_

_"She just didn't feel quite well then."_

_"Sure. Okay, I'll come, but you have to promise me that you'll ask her first," I said._

_"Yeah, right, promise. Be here at seven."_

_"Okay," I mumbled._

_"Great. Wish me good luck with Peter! Bye!"_

_At seven o'clock I was standing on the doorstep waiting for someone to open the door. I was really, really nervous. I did my best to look fantastic - straightened my hair carefully, dressed up in the "I-don't-care-how-I-look-like-but-I-know-I-look-amazing" way and brought a bottle of jack._

_Finally, when I was just about to lose my hope and go away, I heard the sound of a key turning in the lock. The door opened and I saw Emily. She looked at me, completely dumbfounded._

_"Katie's not here, guess you should call her," she said in an extremely husky and sexy way and cleared her throat._

_"I know, she just wanted me to…" I started, but then realized what that all was about. "She didn't tell you I'll come, did she?"_

_"No," her cold and insensible answer was like a slap in the face for me._

_"Well, she didn't want to leave you alone… Erm, right. Guess I'll go then, sorry for being so importunate," I said and turned around, deciding not to talk with Emily ever again._

_Then I heard her voice._

_"Stay," she muttered._

_I looked at her, puzzled, hoping that I didn't mishear._

_"What?"_

_"I apologise for my behaviour at the party. Can you stay?" She asked, looking me in the eye._

_I nodded, because I wasn't able to say a word. It seemed that she understood, 'cause she just opened the door wider and let me in._

_While I was waiting for Emily to come to the living room (she has decided to change her clothes), I was looking at photos hanging on the wall. I didn't have a chance to do it earlier, so I found it truly interesting. Emily and Katie in the woods, Emily and Katie on a cycling tour, Emily and Katie winning "The most amazing twins" contest, Katie with her boyfriend in Egypt, Katie as the ball queen, Katie and her friends in London… Well, a lot of Katie everywhere…_

_"Guess she is more photogenic than me," I heard Emily's bitter voice and looked at her. God damn she was beautiful. She shrugged her shoulders and smiled. It was a smile that could melt the Arctic ice in less than one second._

_"Shit happens," I said and rolled my eyes playfully. I pointed at the huge ice cream box in her hands. "Seems like Katie took care to make us happy?"_

_"Yeah, I was wondering why the hell she bought such a big box, if she doesn't even like ice creams, and I don't like them that much to eat three litres during one evening. Well, now it makes more sense."_

_"Guess Katie knows I'm able to eat ice creams without a break," I grinned from ear to ear._

_She nodded._

_"You're very close to each other, aren't you?" she asked._

_"I think we are. Maybe not very close, but we are both doing our best."_

_"Right… Katie's really lucky," said Emily quietly but then she blushed with embarrassment. "Fancy watching some movie?" she asked quickly._

_"Sure. Whatever you choose," I smiled and sat down on the sofa._

_Three litres of chocolate ice creams, half bottle of jack and one spliff later we were both pretty high. We started playing "100 Questions" and found it truly amusing._

_"Pepsi. Sooo…" I started. "Erm… lake or sea?"_

_She blushed, but smiled._

_"Lake." She has to think for a second. "Sandwich or toast?"_

_"That's easy. Sandwich. If you'd have to choose, would you choose to have a real friend or a boyfriend?"_

_"Tricky," she said. "But I can have it all in one, can't I?"_

_I nodded._

_"Right, okay. So… Uhm… Erm… Oh my God, I ran out of ideas, let's think of something else, shall we?" I asked and started laughing for no reason._

_She smiled widely, her eyes sparkling playfully._

_"Sure. Maybe truth or dare?"_

_I looked at her and froze. God, that girl was a devil inside._

_And I loved it._

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**So, is that really better or should I stop writing this story for a while?**


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm really sorry it took me soo long to update, but I was really busy with my college work. I hope I will manage to update more often now. Thank you for all the feedback, it makes my day! I hope you like that chapter! :)  
**

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"_Fuuuck…" I muttered and opened my eyes. It didn't take long for me to find out that it wasn't the best idea – it just made my headache stronger, so I __nestled my head against the pillow and tried to fall asleep again. It soon turned out that there was no chance for sleeping for me. I had to wake up and fight with my lovely hangover. I moved my head a bit and saw a red head on the other side of the bed. I smiled and felt a huge need to touch her. Instead I sat on my bed (which was as good idea as opening my eyes), and after taking a deep breath I stood up. Somehow I even managed not to fall on the floor and it made me feel truly proud of myself._

_After taking a loooong shower (the best way to overcome the hangover in my opinion), I went to the kitchen and was nicely surprised that there was no mess in there. I've decided to make a strong coffee and went upstairs to give one cup to Emily._

_"__Heyyy," said Emily sleepily and smiled as she heard me walking into her bedroom._

_"__Hello," I answered and handed her cup of coffee._

_"__Nice, Naomes. We just got to know each other and you already bring me breakfast to bed?" she asked playfully. "I'm truly afraid of what's gonna be later!"_

_"__Haha," I said and rolled my eyes. "You should be happy; I know you were far more drunk than me yesterday, so I guess your hangover is far worse."_

_"__Ughhh, ok, thank you for coffee," she said and looked at my clothes. "Wow, you managed to take a shower? I'm impressed, you really do wake up early."_

"_Well, Katie noticed that too, I'm always out of bed like two or three hours before she even opens her eyes."_

"_What a relief that you feel like in your own house when you're in ours!" she said and smiled widely._

"_Yeah, what a relief," I said quietly and turned my face away as I found myself looking at Emily's naked arms lying on the quilt. She had to notice that, 'cause she looked at me with a worried expression on her face._

"_What's wrong, Naomi?"_

"_Nothing. Everything's great, it's just the hangover," I said, trying really hard to sound convincing and gave her a fake smile. "I don't feel quite well, guess I'll go home now."_

"_Oh," mumbled Emily and looked down on her cup of coffee._

"_Yeah. Katie will be home soon. Well, at least I hope so," I said with a smile._

"_She will, she texted me that she'll be here in an hour."_

"_Great. So, see you," I said and took my bag._

_Emily stood up and hugged me. It was impossible not to notice how amazing she looked in her underwear and I froze as she placed her hands on my back._

"_It was a really nice evening, Naomes. Thank you for coming," she said in an extremely husky way. I started to wonder if she knew what a hold she had on me. "And…" she drew back a bit and looked down. "I'm really sorry for what I was doing earlier. You deserve better."_

_I looked at her and raised my eyebrow. You deserve better? What the hell?_

"_It's fine, I'm sure you had a good reason," I said and tried to smile._

_Emily bit her lip and nodded. I was completely dumbfounded, I couldn't understand her behaviour at all. I shrugged my shoulders._

"_See you in the evening at Oceana."_

"_Yeah, bye," she said quietly._

_I got to Oceana punctually at eight o'clock and looked out for Katie and Emily, hoping that they are waiting for me outside and that I won't be forced to search for them in that crowd inside the club. After few seconds of looking around, I took out my phone from my jeans pocket and choose Katie's number. After few signals she finally answered._

"_Where are you?" I asked, confused, trying to outshout the noise coming from the club._

"_We'll be there in a minute!" shouted Katie and hung up._

_I leaned on lamp-post and looked down at my outfit. I choose to put on light jeans,__ high-heeled black shoes, __tight white t-shirt with an overprint on it and a black jacket with rolled up sleeves. It was the first time I had really carefully chosen what to wear on a party. And I probably didn't want to admit even to myself that the reason was only one – and that that reason was at the moment getting out of the car, looking amazingly hot and fantastic._

"_Hi," said Emily as she came closer to me. I beamed when I noticed her impressed sight as she looked at my clothes._

_I didn't manage to reply because the other red head pulled me into a hug._

"_Hello, Naomi!" shouted Katie and I blinked my eyes, surprised._

"_Wow, you look fantastic, doesn't she, Ems?" said Katie when she finally drew back and looked at me._

"_She does," said Emily and smiled shyly._

"_Let's go inside, shall we?" asked Katie, took my hand and went inside the club, exactly into the biggest noise. I took Emily's hand to avoid losing her in the crowd of drunk people. I hardly noticed a surprised look she gave me, because in a second I was pulled into another __big bear hug. I looked up and saw Freddie McClair, one of my classmates. _

"_Hello, Naomikins!" he shouted happily when I finally managed to get out of his strong embrace._

"_Hi, Freddie. Always high, huh?"_

"_Yeah, you know me," he said and shrugged his shoulders. "And who's that?" he said and smiled as he looked at Emily. "Is this that famous Emily Fitch?"_

_Emily blushed and gave him her hand._

"_Hi."_

"_Oh, come on," said Freddie. "We don't do shaking hands, do we, Naomi?"_

"_Def no!" I said and laughed when I saw Emily's face expression when she was pulled into one of those well-known Freddie's hugs._

"_Let's buy something to drink!" shouted Katie, who was given an I-want-you-now hug and was laughing hard when Freddie was doing his best to make her dance._

_We got to a bar and saw the rest of our classmates, who were all (especially those who weren't present at Katie's party) really happy to meet Emily. Emily was looking really tired when she was finally introduced to all of them. _

_We ordered martinis. I couldn't help but felt a bit jealous when I noticed the girl standing by the bar, who was looking at Emily with a sexy smile on her face, completely unimpressed by Thommo's attempts to make her laugh._

_I looked at Emily._

"_You want to dance?" I asked and noticed my heart beating really fast when she smiled widely and looked me in the eye._

"_Sure," she stood up and took my hand, lacing our fingers together._

"_You better be careful, Naomi," I heard Katie's voice. "I bet Emily is the best dancer in this club."_

"_I'll do my best __to keep pace with her!" I said, laughing._

_Katie was right. When Emily started dancing, I couldn't help but stared at her with a completely dumbfounded expression on my face. Dancing seemed so effortless to her and she was moving so gracefully that it made me truly impressed._

"_Come on, Naomi, you wanted to dance, and now you're just standing here and staring at me!" she said, taking my hand and pulling me closer to her. I held my breathe when I felt the heat of her body and her heart beating fast right near mine. We started dancing and after a minute I found __myself breathing fast face to face with Emily, who was looking really gorgeous. I looked her in the eye and froze as she leant in and pressed her lips against mine __in an uncontrollable passion._


	8. Chapter 8

**I know that that chapter is really short, but I just had to somehow connect the previous chapter and the next one, which I am writing at the moment. So, this is the result. ;)) still, thank you for all kinds of feedback. Reviews are especially appreciated, 'cause they give me your opinions, which are really important for me. :))**

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_"__Fuck, Emily! What are you doing?! You have a boyfriend!" I shouted and pushed her away, realising that I have completely forgotten about that guy. Jesus, why did I have to recall him right at THAT moment? "By the way, where the hell is he? He was supposed to stay with your family in your house, wasn't he?"_

_Emily was looking at me apologetically with complete sadness in her eyes. I've never seen a person looking so broken._

_"I... He__—"_

_"__Well, whatever," I cut her off. "Fuck, Emily, are you crazy? Just 'cause he isn't here don't mean you can kiss anyone whenever you want!" I looked at her angrily, but all I wanted to do was to kiss, or at least hug her again. Though, I knew that it wasn't a good idea. I was sure that sooner or later (sooner, I guess…) Emily would start to feel guilty that she had cheated on her boyfriend and that that feeling could easily ruin her life. So for once in my life I decided not to be egoistic, sarcastic cow. I didn't want to be the reason why she would in the future feel broken, and I didn't want to be a reason for her boyfriend to break up with her. And I was definitely sure that she did it only because of the alcohol and the drugs, and that she would regret it, while I was totally sober and I REALLY did want her. I noticed tears falling down Emily's cheeks. She was moving her mouth like she wanted to say something, but she wasn't able to utter any word. Finally she just shook her head, turned round and walked away._

"_No, Emily, wait!" I said and tried to follow her, but suddenly I felt someone's hand wrapping around my wrist and turning me around with an amazing strength. I found myself standing face to face with the second red head. I wasn't even given a chance to say anything, because immediately a fierce slap in the face made me completely blind for a second. Katie's hands tightened on my shoulders and she shook me hard._

_"__What the hell did you do to her? You fucking lezzer, she is my sister!" She shouted. It was the first time I have seen her so angry._

_"__No, Katie! It wasn't like that!" I said, but I knew it was completely pointless. There was no chance she would believe me, I could see it in her eyes._

_"Y__ou fucking stay away from her, me and our house forever! God, you should be happy you're still alive!" she shouted, released my shoulders and followed her sister._

_I have no idea how long I was standing there, in the middle of the dance floor, lost and confused, unable to say a word, surrounded by drunk people, when someone's hand touched my back gently and pushed me slightly to the door. When I left the club, I looked at the person next to me._

_Effy Stonem?_

_"__You're not fine, are you?"she asked.  
_

_I shook my head._

_"__Thanks for taking me out of there. I wasn't able to move," I said quietly, still a bit shocked. _

_"__Yeah, it was pretty obvious. I'll take you home," she said and smiled._

_I nodded before I realised it wasn't even a question. She seemed to be reading my mind. I felt tears falling down my cheeks. Fuck, I'm crying in front of Effy Stonem. Jesus._

_I woke up the next morning with a terribly puffy face. I wasn't able to sleep much and I spent most of the time crying._

_"__Fuck, Naomi, pull yourself together!" I said to myself and took a deep breath._

_I found my telephone lying near my bed. No unread messages, no missed calls. Fuck._

_I chose Emily's number and waited, listening to the signal, till I heard her voicemail.._

_No answer._

_I spent the rest of the day staring at my phone. I tried to call Emily again, like hundred times, but all I got was "Hi, it's Emily, leave your message if you want to" again and again._

_In the evening, when I was lying on the carpet with the bottle of vodka, completely __discouraged, I felt my phone vibrating. _

_"__I'm, on the airport, I'm coming back to Manchester. I'm sorry for what I did, you were right. I told Katie that it was an accident 'caused by drugs and alcohol, and that it wasn't your fault. Goodbye," I read._

_FUCK! All I wanted to do was screaming furiously. For the first time in my fucking life I decided to be so fucking fair and generous, even CHVALROUS, and what did I get? Terrible heartache and the feeling of huge loss._

_"__Don't go. I'd do anything", I wrote, sobbing._

_"__You know it's better that way," she answered immediately._

_"__Stay," was everything I was able to write. I couldn't see anything because of the tears. Fuck, what's wrong with me? I met her like three times and what?_

_She didn't write back. I tried to call her._

_"T__he number you are trying to reach is currently unavailable. Please try again later."_

_I hided my face in my hands._

_Then, suddenly, I felt that I know exactly what to do. I woke up and took my jacket. I was no going to give up that easily, not this time._


	9. Chapter 9

**so, this is a new chapter. :)) it scares me that i am updating so frequently now! i just hope i won't run out of ideas! ;))) special thanks go to Aerosmith for their songs, which inspire me every single day and to vaskon - thank you for being with my story from the beginning. i consider it a miracle that you aren't bored yet! ;))**

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_I opened the door and stood rooted to the spot._

"_Katie," I said when I saw the red head standing in front of me._

"_Naomi…" she bit her lip. "Emily told me it was the drugs. I'm sorry for…" she pointed at my left cheek, still slightly more red than the right one._

"_Uhm, yeah, it's fine," I said, rolling my eyes. "I'm glad you're back."_

"_Me too!" She smiled widely. "But, you know, Naomi…" she started, pretending to be serious. "From now on, when you sleep over in my house, you sleep on the mattress, not in my bed with me."_

"_Haha, really funny. You know, Katie, I'm sorry, but I just don't fancy you," I said and giggled._

_She looked at me with a surprised expression on her face, but then she started to laugh so loud that it made me forgive her everything._

"_So, how is Emily?" I asked and saw the smile disappearing from Katie's face._

"_I just gave her a lift to the airport. She wanted to come back to Manchester immediately, she said she was wrong when she broke up with her boyfriend and that she has to make it up with him and---"_

"_She broke up with him?!" I cut her off, shocked._

_Katie raised her eyebrow._

"_Yeah, right after the party. That's why he left. Didn't she tell you? I thought you know," she seemed thoroughly surprised._

"_Uhm, no, we didn't talk about it."_

"_Well, however, I wanted to say sorry. I knew it was impossible for you to be gay, it's just… You know, seeing my best friend kissing my sister… It was weird. Anyway, what happens at the party, stays at the party. Right?" She asked, looking at me with hope in her eyes. I could feel she was really sorry and I couldn't help but hugged her. _

"_Sure, Katiekins. We can forget about it."_

_She nodded and placed her hands on my back – exactly the same gesture that her sister made few days earlier. I bit my lip as I felt tears filling my eyes._

"_Well," she said and stepped aside. "We all know that when you're drunk, everything can happen."_

"_Yeah," I muttered and I knew that Katie was imagining exactly the same scene – she kissing with James Cook at Amy Broderick's party. Paradoxically, that incident was the only thing she remembered from that night when she woke up the next morning. Anyway, she was claiming that they were both drunk and wired and that they didn't know what they were doing. She was my best friend, so I didn't have a choice but to believe her, but it was impossible not to notice all those glances he was giving her every day since that party._

"_Erm," Katie cleared her throat and waved her hands as if she would like to drive away that inconvenient memory. "Fuck, my whole family is so angry that Emily left! She didn't even give my parents a chance to see her, they're still in London!"_

"_Uhm, yeah, seems that she really cares about her boyfriend if she decided to come back to him so__ unexpectedly,"__ I said quietly._

_Katie raised her eyebrow._

"_Of course she does! I have no idea why she broke up with him, he is such a lovely guy, and he is completely, completely in love with her! She admitted she was stupid and she asked me to understand that she really had to come back to Manchester. Well, I understand, but I can't say same about my parents. They are really mad now. However, she said she'll come back soon, with him, if he will forgive her."_

"_Oh," I said and forced myself to smile. "That's fantastic! Uhm… So," I looked at her and frowned as I realised that I didn't even ask her to come in. "You wanna come in?" I asked and smiled._

_Katie giggled._

"_Oh, you noticed? Sure, I brought a bottle of jack, to bribe you and make you forgive me."  
_

"_Haha, let's go upstairs," I said and tried to forget how much I'd like another red head to be now with me. However, it was me who had made a mistake and it was me who was going to pay for it. At the moment I just decided to pretend everything is fine, as I just got my best friend back and had a clear plan for what to do next.

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_**i am truly terrified of the lack of reviews. i start feeling like i'm not good enough (haha, i know it's pathetic, i just can't help it! ;P).**


	10. Chapter 10

**That chapter is a bit longer, hope you won't get bored! :)) Oh, and I know there's no school like St Patrick's College for Girls in Manchester. :D Thank you for your feedback, it makes my day! :)  


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**

_Katie was looking at me strangely when we were sitting in my room. I could feel her eye on me and I was catching it every time I raised my eyes to glance at her._

_That was weird, she has never acted like that before. I mean, ok, I was kissing with her sister but hey, she told me she knew I wasn't gay, so she should stop behaving like I could go for her anytime, shouldn't she?_

_The way she hugged me when she was leaving was also unusual – she kept the embrace longer than she often did and it made me think I knew exactly what she wanted to say – 'come on, Naomi, you are nor gay. Tell me you're not gay…'._

"_I'm not," I muttered on her shoulder. Katie stepped aside and raised her eyebrow, surprised._

"_What?" she asked, smiling._

"_Nothing. I just… Remembered something."_

"_Oh, right," Katie winked. "So, I'll be going. See you at school on Monday!" she said, took her fashionable jacket and left._

"_Yeah," I mumbled, not even noticing that the door had already closed behind her._

_I didn't mention I definitely wasn't going to go to school on Monday._

"_Mum…" I started when I walked into our living room, where my mother was traditionally watching EastEnders. She looked at me and smiled._

"_Yes, honey?"_

_I fell on the sofa next to her._

"_I have to go away for few days," I said._

"_What?" she frowned and her face expression was saying: "Where the hell are you taking those ideas from?"_

"_Uhm… I have to go away for few days," I repeated patiently though I was sure she heard me the first time._

"_Oh. Where?" she turned her attention back to the screen, what was probably supposed to make me lose my hope, but I definitely was not going to give up so easily._

"_To Manchester," I said and looked at her imploringly. _

_She pretended she didn't see my sight and seemed to be completely interested in this fucking soap opera._

"_And what's in Manchester?" she asked after few minutes, when I really started to lose my hope._

"_Erm… I can't tell you now."_

"_And you think I'll let you? To leave your school and go away?" she looked at me with her eyes opened so widely that I thought it was impossible for them to be any bigger._

_I sighed._

"_Mum, you have to know that it's really, really important for me, ok? I know it's childish and pathetic to say that I'm almost grown-up, but, well, I am."_

_She frowned again._

"_And what will happen if you won't go there?" she asked and I could see from her face expression that she was about to agree._

_It gave me hope and strength I needed to win. I had to tell her the truth, not whole truth obviously, but I had to be honest._

"_I think that not going there can ruin my life," I answered quietly, looking at my socks._

_She raised her eyebrow, seeming thoroughly surprised._

"_Really?"_

"_Yes. It's about someone… Well, I think that… I… I love. I guess. I do."_

_She looked at the TV. I knew I had to be patient._

"_Umh, well… I don't know, honey…" she said after long minutes of bothersome silence. _

"_Come on, mum!" I started saying as quickly as I was able to. "It's only few days and I promise I'll be back till Tuesday! I'll miss only one day at school! I've booked a train ticket, they are really cheap at the moment and well, I am already packed. I'll be calling you every hour if you want to! I know where I'm going, I've been to Manchester before and—" I stopped when I heard my mother's laughter. She was looking at me with love in her eyes._

_She shook her head as if she would like to say: 'God, you and your crazy ideas…' but instead she just said: _

"_Well, I guess I can't be the one to stop you if it can ruin your life! Right, go then. But promise me you'll be calling and texting and that I won't have to be worried! Well, I guess I will be anyway."_

_I uttered an unidentified sound of total happiness and hugged her as close as it was possible, considering the fact that we were both sitting on the sofa. She laughed even harder._

"_My little girl…" she whispered, stroking my hair. I smiled widely and looked at her lovingly._

_We were sitting like that for few minutes, when finally I stood up and cleared my throat before speaking._

"_I guess I'll go to bed. I am leaving tomorrow at 5 a.m.! Goodnight!" I quickly ran upstairs, not giving her a chance to protest. Anyway, I was not going to sleep – I had a whole journey to plan!_

_First thing I did was visiting the Saint Patrick's College for Girls website. God, it was going to be a looong night._

_I was trying really hard to fall asleep, but it appeared to be nearly impossible, so all I managed to do was falling asleep long after midnight and waking up at 3 a.m., completely awoke and excited. God, something was really wrong with me._

_I took a long shower, checked out three times if I had absolutely everything packed and made myself a breakfast. After 4 a.m. I heard my mum walking downstairs._

"_Hey, honey," she said sleepily and put the kettle on to make coffee._

"_Hello," I said and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She smiled._

"_So, we've like fifty minutes to leave?" I looked at her, confused._

_"What do you mean: we?"_

_She rolled her eyes._

"_How are you going to get to the station? I'll give you a lift!" she said, smiling._

"_Oh," I muttered and hugged her. "Have I ever told you how much I love you, mom?"_

_She giggled._

"_Yeah, heard about it… like hundred times. But once more is always nice!"_

_I snuggled against her._

"_Yeah. Want some toasts?"_

_At 5 a.m. we were both sitting in the car. I was getting slightly nervous as my destination was closer and closer. When we got to the station, my mom took a deep breath._

"_It's time," she said and looked at me._

"_Yeah…" I bit my lip._

"_Hope you'll tell me everything when you'll come back!" she smiled._

"_I promise I will!" I shouted and opened the door. "Oh, come on, we are not saying goodbye forever and Manchester isn't even that far away, why is the atmosphere so tense?" I asked and laughed nervously._

_She shrugged her shoulders._

"_Maybe we both feel that something important is about to happen?"_

_I looked at her. God, why did she have to be so much like me?_

"_Okay…" I mumbled. "I'll call you when I'll be on the train and when I'll reach Manchester. You can call me anytime, of course," I said and leant in to give her a hug._

"_Fine," she answered. "Remember to be back as soon as possible," I was already standing outside with my bag on my shoulder._

"_I will! I'll miss you," I said and kissed the air._

"_I'll miss you too! Be careful, don't talk to strangers and remember to call me!"_

"_Sure, mom, I will, don't worry!" I shouted with a huge smile._

"_I love you!" she said._

"_I love you too!" I closed the door and waved my hands. She started her car and I walked away, heading to the building of station._

_Standing on the platform I opened my bag and noticed that mom packed me my favourite book and my iPod, which I have obviously forgotten to take._

_I smiled as I saw my train coming closer and closer._

_I could almost feel the sweet scent of Manchester._


	11. Chapter 11

**God damn, I will definitely fail all my exams if I won't stop writing this story!**

**Oh, whatever, fuck it! ;)))**

**I hope you enjoy it! :)))**

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_I took a deep breath when I finally reached the building of St Patrick's College For Girls. I looked up to see the windows of students' flats. I drew myself up and pushed the door with strength (trying to convince myself that I was brave)._

"_Hello," I said to the young woman sitting behind the table, guessing she was the receptionist or at least something like that. She didn't even turn her attention to me, still looking at the book she was holding in her hands ("Painting fingernails today" ? God…)._

"_Uhm?" was the only thing I got._

"_Erm… I would like to visit someone," I said, slightly confused by her behaviour. _

_She raised her eyebrow and rolled her eyes sarcastically._

"_Oh, really? That's something new."_

_I sighed, noticing the pink chewing gum in her mouth. Jesus, people are weird._

"_Yeah," I answered with patience._

"_Who is that lucky person?" she asked, her eyebrow still raised._

"_Emily Fitch," I answered, realising that it was the first time I said her full name._

_She took another book from her desk and started __leafing through it__._

"_Right... F... Fi... Yeah, Fitch Emily. What is the reason?"_

_I looked at her, surprised._

"_What reason?" I asked. She finally looked at me, completely bored._

"_For you visiting her?"_

"_Oh," I answered. "Right, sorry... I came to... give her her book back."_

"_Yeah, whatever. Room 302, have a nice day."_

"_Thank you," I said and started walking upstairs._

_When I reached the door with the "302" number on it, I sighed and forced myself to knock._

_I waited for a while (not sure if I'd like someone to open the door or not at all), when finally the door opened and I saw her._

_I. Saw. Her._

_Emily._

_She looked at me, completely shocked, her mouth opened, her fingers trying to adjust her bra underneath black tight top._

_She. Was. Adjusting. Her. Bra._

_Fuck._

"_Oh, sorry," I said. "Didn't mean to interrupt."_

"_Nononononono, you're not interrupting! Come in!" she said and it sounded like she really wanted me to stay._

_I went inside and hardly noticed the boy sitting on the bed, I was too busy looking at Emily, who seemed to be looking anywhere but at me._

_I saw with the corner of my eye that the boy stood up. I turned my eyes towards him and couldn't not notice that he was buttoning up his shirt._

_Double fuck._

_God. Damn._

_I had to admit that he was hot – tall, with black hair and pale skin, fit, fashionably dressed. He was looking at me, smiling._

"_Erm..." Emily started. "Naomi, this is my boyfriend, Aaron. Aaron, it's Naomi, my... friend."_

_He smiled even wider and shook my hand._

"_Nice to meet you," I said, hoping it sounded quite convincing, 'cause really all I wanted to do was to kill him. Or at least throw him out of the room._

_He smiled._

"_Nice to meet you too."_

"_I just came to... ummm, Ems, I wanted to talk to you."_

_Emily raised her eyebrow, but nodded._

"_Sure. Aaron was just leaving, weren't you, honey?" she looked at him apologetically._

"_Yeah, fine. I'll go then. I'll call you in the evening," he said, I guess a bit dumbfounded._

_He leant in to kiss Emily and I looked at the wall as if it was the most interesting thing in the whole room._

_I didn't look at Emily until I heard the sound of closing door._

"_So..." Emily finally looked at me. "You want coffee? Tea maybe? Orange juice? Coke? Water---?"_

"_Erm, no, thanks," I cut her off._

"_Oh, ok. We can sit here," she said, pointing at the green sofa in the corner of the room._

_I sat down and shivered when her arm accidentally brushed against mine._

_Emily sighed._

"_Fuck, Naomi, what are you doing here?" she asked angrily._

"_I came to Manchester to umm... visit my aunt so I thought I'd visit you to ask... umm... how are you?" I mumbled._

_Emily raised her eyebrow. God damn she was looking so sexy when she was doing it!_

"_Seriously?"_

_I nodded and cleared my throat._

"_Sooo, this is your boyfriend?"_

_She drew herself up._

"_Yes, Aaron, he is really sweet," she answered, not looking me in the eye._

_I did my best to smile but I wasn't sure if it looked like a smile at all._

"_Great! So, he forgave you?"_

_I knew it was a stupid question – he obviously forgave her if they were... well, I didn't want to know what they were actually doing, but they were, right? Whatever it was._

"_Yes. It's so amazing that we are together, I didn't even realise how much I was actually missing him!"_

"_Yeah, I see," I said sceptically._

_Emily smiled and I bet she did it better than I did before – probably 'cause it was an honest smile. I felt my heart melting._

"_How is Katie?" She asked._

"_Fine. Bit nervous that you left so... erm... early, but yeah, she's definitely fine," I said._

"_Great. Erm..." it was obvious that she had no idea what to say. I decided that our conversation needed my help to survive._

"_How is your school? I didn't have a chance to ask when you were in Bristol," I said and felt stupid – God, I came here to tell her the truth, not to run away from it fucking again._

_Emily smiled again, even wider._

"_It's okay, you know, only girls obviously, but it's, erm, easier to focus on your lessons, right?"_

_I raised my eyebrow sceptically._

"_Really?"_

_She bit her lip but giggled._

"_Yeah. Really."_

_Damn. She was fucking happy. Happy without me and all that shit I made._

_SHE. WAS. HAPPY._

_SHE. DIDN'T. NEED. ME. AT. ALL._

_I sighed to my thoughts and heard alert somewhere in my head: "Go away. Go away. Don't ruin her life like you've ruined lives of hundreds people before. Like you have ruined your own. YOU LOVE HER SO BE FUCKING BRAVE AND LEAVE! LET HER BE HAPPY!"_

_I stood up. Maybe it was the time to listen to what my mind wanted to tell me._

"_So, it was a nice visit. Thanks for everything," I said and smiled._

_She also stood up, surprised._

"_You're leaving?"_

"_Yeah, I guess it's time. Maybe I'll catch a train and come back home," I muttered._

"_Oh. Sure. Remember me to Katie," she said and hugged me._

_She. Hugged. Me. _

_I froze._

"_Bye," I mumbled and was about to open the door, but then I felt that I have to ask something more. "You really love him, don't you?"_

_She sighed, looked down at her shoes, but then raised her eyes and looked at me. She nodded._

"_I do."_

_When I was going downstairs, I couldn't stop my tears any longer._

_I got to the station and found out that I had a train to Bristol in fifteen minutes._

_When I came back to the city, the first thing I did (though it was late at night) was going to Katie's house._

_She opened the door and didn't even ask any questions but let me inside, gave me a cup of tea and made me sit on the sofa, 'cause I was obviously too shaken to think about it myself._

_I told her everything._

_She was shocked, but she was holding me tight and let me cry on her shoulder litres of tears._

"_I'm so sorry, Katie... I just can't help it. I love her," I finished, sobbing. I was so broken that I couldn't even move, but I could feel she froze._

"_You did the right thing, Naomi. It was only the drugs, Emily would tell me if it had been different. She really, really regretted it, she loves Aaron so much..." _

_This is exactly how I've messed it all up._

_And I'm not quite sure if writing about it actually helped me._

_Anyway, are you happy, dear miss therapist?_

Naomi finished writing and sighed, putting her pen away.

She looked out of a window and noticed that the sun was rising.

Fuck. She started writing in the evening.

"Hello, another day," she said to herself. "Another day without her."


	12. Chapter 12

**Here's the next chapter! Hope you like it since it's no longer only from Naomi's POV! : ))

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Naomi was going to lie in her bed all day when suddenly, about noon, the phone rang. Naomi opened her eyes and pressed the green button, but didn't say a word, waiting for the one who called her (whoever it was, 'cause she didn't look at the ID) to talk first.

"Naomi? Naomi? Naomi? Are you there?" she heard Katie's voice.

She sighed.

"Yes," she muttered.

"What's wrong?"

Naomi slowly let the air out of her mouth.

"Nothing," she answered, not even trying to sound convincing.

Katie cleared her throat sceptically.

"Yeah, sure. Listen, Naomes… I was thinking… Maybe we should go to a party?"

"I don't think so," Naomi answered quietly, a bit irritated. What the fuck was Katie expecting? That she will go and party? And maybe get wasted and kiss some random guy? Not this time.

"Come on, Naomikins! You can't still sit at home, thinking and, I don't know, crying or whatever you're doing. It's time to forget and get fucked up!" said Katie.

"No, right? I don't want to party. Just… deal with it, Katiekins. I've had enough parties in my life. See you at school," she said angrily and hung up.

She took a deep breath and laid her head on a pillow, desperately trying to fall asleep, but then she suddenly felt that what she did was wrong – Katie was just trying to help her and God, it wasn't the best idea to blame her for what her sister did or, especially, for who her sister was (obviously straight). And thoughts like "if I didn't know Katie, I would not get to know Emily, and if I wouldn't get to know Emily, I would not be heartbroken at the moment" were pathetic and childish. She took her phone and chose Katie's number.

"Yes?" a sad voice answered after few signals.

"Katie… I'm sorry. It's not like I'm angry at you, it's just… you know, I'm not kinda in the mood to party, okay? But I'd love to meet you, will you come at, let's say, six?"

Naomi could almost hear Katie beaming.

"Yeah, sure. I'll brought some alcohol, though. I've had enough of your non-drinking time!" she said and laughed.

"Fair enough for me," said Naomi and wanted to hung up, but then felt that it was necessary to say something more.

"And, Katie? Thank you for everything. I know I'm a real pain in the ass at the moment and that it's probably really difficult for you too… It's amazing that you still manage to cheer me up and that you're so nice while you could probably get mad and hit me with something heavy."

Katie giggled.

"Yeah, you know, but who would listen to my long stories about boyfriends and parties if I didn't have you?"

"Probably no one," said Naomi, smiling. "See you at six."

Katie hung up and Naomi finally stood up, deciding that she'll make a cake especially for Katie to make her feel appreciated and needed. After all she was Naomi's best friend and she was really impressed that Katie managed to accept the fact that she was in love with her sister so easily.

Naomi was almost one hundred percent sure that if she could think clear after coming back to Bristol from Manchester, she would probably never decide to tell Katie the truth, 'cause she would expect her to get furious and totally raving. Katie's reaction surprised Naomi – she would never expect anything like that from Katie, and especially not if it was about loving her sister. She noticed that Katie has changed a lot since Emily's visited Bristol. She became far more caring and nice, she stopped dating random guys and started paying attention to her college. Naomi has never seen Katie like that before. And she was really grateful for Katie's just revealed personality. Who else would listen to her and cheer her up if not her best friend?

Naomi didn't decide to tell her mom about everything. When she came back from Manchester on the same day she left, Gina was surprised, but wasn't asking any questions, seeing her beloved daughter's state. Though, Naomi was sure she would start being curious soon and she had to get ready.

When Katie knocked on the door at six, Naomi did her best to look happy, though she knew there was no point in this – Katie knew better than anyone how sad Naomi was at the moment and she probably knew also very well that no one could make Naomi happy (well, maybe except for that one person who could, but obviously was not even going to try). Though, Katie brought a bottle of jack, two spliffs ("I'm telling you, it's the best stuff in fucking Bristol, from Cook.") and a Gossip Girl First Season DVD ("Yeah, I know you're not into Gossip Girl at all, I just think it's really helpful when you want to forget about your problems, everything seems so easy on the Upper East Side".).

So, after three hours they were still sitting on the sofa, full of chocolate cake Naomi made and that wonderful brown liquid that is making people happier with every downed glass.

"Uhm. Oh, yeah, so how is your sister?" asked Naomi, her head lying on Katie's shoulder inertly, her fingers playing with the glass of whiskey she was holding on her knees.

Katie blinked and giggled.

"Fuck, Naomes, you're drunk."

"No, I'm not!" Naomi answered and laughed bitterly. "Not yet, unfortunately. How is Emily?" she repeated and froze. Fuck, she said her name. She said her fucking name! She was constantly avoiding it, replacing it with "your sister" everytime, 'cause it fucking hurt so much when she was saying "Emily". E-M-I-L-Y. The fucking most beautiful name in the whole fucking world. Fuck.

"… She's fine, you know," said Katie.

"Still with Aaron?"

Katie sighed.

"Yeah, still with Aaron. They're coming to Bristol next weekend."

Naomi almost spitted out the draught of whiskey she had in her mouth. She swallowed and drew herself up, looking at Katie in disbelief.

"What? And when were you going to tell me?"

Katie shrugged her shoulders.

"Tomorrow? I don't know. Oh, and by the way, if we're talking about that weekend, my mum invites you to join us for dinner on Sunday, she really likes you."

Naomi raised her eyebrow.

"Cute. Will she be there?"

Katie knew Naomi wasn't asking about Jenna.

"Yes, she will. And so will be Aaron," she pointed out.

Naomi puffed.

"Yeah, it's impossible to forget, really."

"So, will you come?" asked Katie, looking her in the eye with hope.

"Well, I don't know if---"

"Oh come on, Naomes!" Katie cut her off. "Maybe it's the right moment to show Emily that you're doing well without her!"

"I'm not," Naomi muttered.

"For me…?" said Katie imploringly with a huge smile.

"Oh, fine, I'll come. But you have to promise that I won't be put into an awkward situation and have to talk to Emily and Aaron?"

"Okay, I'll be there all the time."

Naomi smiled.

"So, I was invited for a family dinner by Jenna. Really unbelievable," she said to herself.

Katie sighed.

"Don't be too happy. Guess it'll all change when she finds out you're gay."

Naomi raised her eyebrow even higher than she did before.

"Why?"

"Oh, she's just… I don't know how to describe it. Well, every time she hears something about teenagers being gay, she starts talking about some kind of phase and that they'll get over it soon or things like that," Katie said sadly and shrugged her shoulders.

"Oh," said Naomi and cleared her throat. "Well, she's not going to find out since the only person of the same sex I want is your sister who obviously doesn't want me, so I guess I'll have to find myself a nice boy."

To Naomi's surprise, Katie shivered uncontrollably and blinked quickly, looking at her hands. Naomi couldn't get rid of the feeling that she just said something really wrong.

"You're cold?" she asked, looking at Katie, concerned.

"N-no, it's just…" Katie started saying, but then stopped and shook her head. "Oh, never mind."

"It does mind. What's going on, Katiekins?"

Katie looked Naomi in the eye.

"I don't want to talk about it, okay?"

Naomi nodded.

"Fine," she said and then the room was filled with an awkward silence.

Finally Katie cleared her throat and took the remote control.

"So, let's see how is the Upper East Side doing…" she said and pressed the 'play' button.

Even though there was no more silence, 'cause they could hear Blair and the rest talking, atmosphere still seemed to be very thick. The words that were left unsaid were burning into their minds and they both knew that when everything will finally be revealed, things will never look the same.

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	13. Katie

**That chapter is a bit short, 'cause it's from Katie's POV (well, seems like Katie doesn't have much to say ;)). Anyway, I hope you like it... And don't worry, it's just... some angst is always needed, right? ;)))**

**Thank you for all your feedback! I really appreciate it. :))**

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I could have told her! Fuck, fuck, fuck, it was just the right moment to say it. She was honest with me, for fuck's sake, I should've been honest with her too!

Damn.

Well, whatever, I will definitely have to tell her that one day. Sooner rather than later. Though, being a prick like me, I'll probably do everything to postpone that confession. Jesus, I just hope that when I will finally pluck up the courage it won't be too late. Why am I such a coward?

So, the vision of the fucking weird family dinner, firstly looming vaguely somewhere in the air, was now seeming to be extremely close.

It was Friday when I finally found time to talk to Emily about that day. I called her in the morning, deciding I won't go to school and knowing she's in her flat, probably packing her suitcases, 'cause she was supposed to leave in the afternoon and go to an airport with Aaron.

"Hey," said Emily and I knew what will be the first question she'll ask. "How's Naomes?"

I barely refrain myself from sighing.

"Great actually. You know, she's now going out with our classmate's brother. He's going to uni and he just came to Bristol for few days, we went to a party, one thing led to another… yeah, now they're both pretty happy, fucking lovebirds," I said, perfectly pretending to be annoyed and giggled.

"Oh," she muttered and I couldn't help but smiled with satisfaction when I heard her letting the air out of her mouth slowly, she always fucking does that when she's extremely sad.

God damn, I'm a real bitch.

Though, I wasn't lying. Well, mostly. We really went to a party and met Effy's brother and he really did call Naomi few times and she was about to agree to go on a date with him (which was making me furious, but Emily or Naomi didn't have to know about it). Well, maybe "going out" was a bit too big word, but… whatever, that's who I am, right?

"Anyway," I said after few seconds of silence, while which I was almost feeling the waves of pain being sent to me through the phone from fucking Manchester. "I'm calling to ask you what you're going to wear for our wonderful family dinner on Sunday?"

"Didn't think about it yet, to be honest," she seemed surprised. Damn yeah. Ha, Emily didn't know that Naomi will be there. If she knew, she would fucking make herself looking even more gorgeous than ever and now I will be the only red head looking even more gorgeous than ever, she'll probably just wear some random clothes, as always when it comes to the family dinner.

"But… Well, wait," she said suddenly. "I was going to go shopping on that weekend anyway, we can go to the mall together on Saturday and buy something special? I haven't seen parents for so long and they love family dinners so much…"

Fuckfuckfuck! I scowled at her in my imagination but did my best to calm down and not let her find out how upset I was.

"Yeah, great. Can't wait for it! We haven't been shopping together for months!" I said. God, I sounded convincing. Seems like we are both pretty good at acting.

I smirked.

"You think…" Emily started saying shyly. "You think Naomi could go with us?"

I could almost hear her blushing.

"Erm, no, not really, she will be busy all day, Tony is taking her somewhere, it is supposed to be a surprise so I bet he arranged something really special and she's pretty excited about that," I lied smoothly.

"Oh," she mumbled quietly. "Fine, so see you in the evening, will you come and take us from the airport?"

"Yeah, sure, I'll be waiting for you."

"Great," she said and it seemed that maybe she isn't such a good actress as me – she just couldn't pretend everything was fine. Or maybe she just didn't want to pretend any longer. There was no point in that, we both knew that at the moment nothing was fine about Emily.

I hung up and didn't let the remorse come to my mind. I am doing the best for both of us – Naomi and myself.

And now, Naomi is coming after school, I need to get ready.


	14. Naomi

**That chapter is from Naomi's POV. I know you're waiting for Emily's POV, so the next chapter will make your dreams come true. ;)))**

**I love you for all your feedback! :)**

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Oh, fantastic.

The famous dinner at Fitches'. Classy.

When I came inside the house with Katie, I couldn't not notice Emily and Aaron sitting on the sofa, her head lying effortlessly on his shoulder, eyes closed, his hand playing with her hair, both smiling, looking fucking happier than ever.

Katie cleared her throat loudly.

"Good to see you here, lovebirds, I just came with Naomes, she joins us for a dinner today," she said with a, I don't know why, satisfied smirk on her face.

Emily opened her eyes widely for a "Naomi" word and they both stood up quickly.

"Hi," I said to both of them, smiling, looking a bit longer at Emily than at Aaron, till she turned her face away and blushed.

I raised my eyebrow and we all sat down on the sofa.

"So," I said to Aaron. "You're enjoying your time in Bristol?"

He looked at me and smiled.

"Yeah, a lot, we were at the party yesterday, with Em and Katie, and it was really---"

"A party?" I cut him off and looked at Katie. "Why didn't you tell me you were going to a party?" I asked and noticed a surprised look Emily gave Katie.

Katie laughed nervously.

"Oh, come on, we all know you were really busy yesterday…"

"What? I was sitting at home all day and---"

"The food is ready, we are waiting for you!" I heard Jenna's words coming from dining-room. We all stood up and directed our steps towards there, but I stopped Katie by putting my hand on her shoulder so Emily and Aaron passed us by and I whispered angrily to her ear.

"Busy? What the fuck is going on, Katie?"

She sighed.

"I'll tell you later, let's go and join them, 'cause mom will get pissed off."

I scowled at her, but followed her to the dining-room.

The food was good, though I couldn't say same about the company. Little annoying pervy James Fitch heard something about being gay (fuck, where? In the fucking kindergarten?) and decided to share his just discovered knowledge with us.

"Oh, honey, don't worry," said Jenna, looking at him concerned. "Really, some people just have that kind of phase in their lives, it's just, I don't know, about being curious or something, but they all get over it sooner or later."

I couldn't help but cleared my throat sceptically and noticed Emily biting her lip while looking on her plate.

After a dessert everybody moved to the living room and sat on the armchairs and sofa, probably awaiting an interesting conversation. Emily and Aaron were sitting as close to each other as it was possible and they were holding hands lovingly.

I was feeling sick.

Katie sat next to me and smiled widely, looking at Emily.

"So," Rob apparently decided to start a conversation. "How is it to live in Manchester?"

Emily and Aaron looked at him. Emily shrugged her shoulders, but Aaron answered.

"It's pretty cool, actually. We have lots of friends there and Em and I are…"

Em. He called her Em. Fuck, I was about to vomit, I wasn't listening to him any longer. Then I heard Emily's voice and turned my attention to her, suddenly interested.

"Yes, Manchester is a really interesting city when you have someone to go out with..."

Aaron looked at her with love in his eyes. God, I had to get out of there.

I stood up.

"Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom."

Jenna nodded.

"You know where to go, honey?"

"Yes, I do. I'll be back in a minute," I said and started walking upstairs. I came inside the bathroom, closed the door and sat down on the floor, hiding my face in my hands. Fuck, something was definitely wrong with me.

"She is straight, she is straight…" I started saying to myself quietly when suddenly I heard Katie's voice behind the door.

"Naomi, come on. Let me in!"

I sighed, but stood up and opened the door slowly.

Katie came inside and closed the door, then looked at me, I have already fallen back on the floor.

"What's going on, Naomes?" she asked, sitting next to me and placing her hand on my knee.

I took a deep breath, doing my best not to seem annoyed.

"And what do you think?"

Katie sighed.

"I'm so sorry, Naomes… I told you she's happy with Aaron. You just can't make people love you, you'll just hurt her if you try, she's such a sympathetic person…"

I felt tears filling my eyes and snuggled against Katie. She squeezed my knee reassuringly.

"I know, it's just… God, I can't stand it, you know? I have no idea how it happened," I closed my eyes, covering them with my hand and let the tears fall down my cheeks. "It's the first time I've ever felt something like that, I don't even fucking know her well, and she has already managed to make me go nuts without even trying and---" suddenly I was stopped by sensitive lips pressed against mine. I opened my eyes and moved back, shocked.

I blinked, looking at Katie, who wasn't looking me in the eye.

"What are you doing, Katie?" I asked. Fuck, stupid question, but I had no idea what to say.

"Naomi…" she started quietly, looking at the towel hanging on the wall. "Maybe Emily doesn't want you… but I do."

"What? Katie, you're my best friend, it's impossible to---"

"Think for a second," she cut me off. "We know each other better than anyone. We know what the second person needs, we know who we are… Just think about it, Naomi. Isn't it a good idea to try?"

I shook my head.

"I have never thought about you… in that way. I mean, I love you, but like a sister, Katiekins."

Katie sighed and stood up.

"I'll give you time to think about it, okay?"

I nodded slowly. Her hand was now holding the door handle. I had to ask one more question.

"For how long, Katie?"

She inhaled slowly.

"Since Emily has left the city. Then I understood," with these words she left, leaving me sitting on the floor, more confused than ever.

It was time to go home and do some thinking.

I love Emily, but Katie was right, I can't make her love me. I don't want to make her love me.

And if I can't have Emily, maybe it's a good idea to consider having Katie?

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	15. Emily

**Voila! Emily's POV. Hope you like it! :)) I'm curious if you can guess where that story is actually going... ;D :)) **

**{sorry for the mistake I made - first writing from Emily's POV and then changing it. God... that's what happens when I write the story starting from the end. -.- I've already corrected it, enjoy! :)}  
**

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Jesus. I was not supposed to hear it! I know I wasn't! But when I was going to go to my room and get my fucking cigarettes out of my bag, I passed by the bathroom door and when I heard Katie's words: "I told you she's happy with Aaron" I just couldn't help it and stopped, straining my ears.

I was completely shocked when I heard Naomi. What the fuck? Were they talking about me? As far as I was concerned, Naomi was pretty happy with amazingly hot Effy's brother, Tony, wasn't interested in girls at all and was completely angry at me and came to visit me in Manchester only to tell me that what I did on that fucking party was wrong, but then suddenly felt sorry for me and decided not to say anything (God, she was strange?). And now what? She's fucking talking about me with Katie, obviously crying and it seems that…

Fuck, she's in love with me?

Then suddenly Naomi stopped talking and a silence fell. I decided it was the best moment to pull back. But I just couldn't come downstairs as if nothing happened, so I moved slowly and came inside Katie's room (well, it used to be my room too, but I had no idea if it still was) and closed the door behind me. I had to talk with Katie. Immediately.

After few minutes I heard the sound of closing door and someone walking downstairs, after next few minutes exactly the same situation. So I figured out that they both left the bathroom. I opened the door quietly and heard voices from the living room.

"You're leaving, Naomi?"

"Uhm, yes, I have to, it's late. Thank you for such a wonderful time."

"Oh, you should visit us more often!" my mother said.

"With pleasure! Bye!" I heard Naomi's voice and she probably left the house 'cause I heard the slam of the front door.

"Emily, darling!" my mom shouted. "Are you going to join us here?"

Oh, fuck. I cleared my throat.

"Yeah, sure! In a minute, it's just… Katie, can you come here? I need your help!" I answered and sat on the sofa, waiting. After few seconds I saw her standing in the door.

"What do you---" she started saying, but suddenly stopped, seeing my sight.

"Close the door," I said quietly, looking her in the eye.

She bit her lip and frowned, but came up to my request and sat next to me.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

I snorted.

"You should know." She raised her eyebrow and it seemed that she really didn't know what I was talking about.

"I heard you and Naomi in the bathroom."

Katie shivered and opened her mouth widely.

"What did you hear?" she asked, seeming terrified.

"Enough to find out how much you lied to me."

Katie sighed.

"I'm sorry," she said sadly.

"That's all you want to tell me? That you're _sorry_?" I was almost crying. "I told you I love her! I told you the whole story and I admitted that I told her that I told you it was because of the drugs! I wanted her to think that it was! I thought it's better this way! I did it only because I thought it'd be for her own good, 'cause it didn't seem like she was feeling the same way I did – judging from her reaction when I kissed her. I needed her to UNDERSTAND! You knew it, Katie. And you didn't even tell me that she… Fuck, Katie, you've ruined it all. I can't live without her!" That was too much. I couldn't stand it anymore, I sat on the sofa, completely broken, and hided my face in my hands.

"Maybe I can't live without her too…" muttered Katie so quietly that it gave me hope that I misheard her. I looked at her. She was biting her lip and looking at the carpet as if it was the most interesting thing in the room.

"What?"

Katie cleared her throat. It seemed like it gave her a little bit more courage so she raised her eyes and spoke louder this time.

"I can't live without her too."

My jaw dropped. I suddenly felt like I was hit with the truncheon right in my head.

"But… I… Fuck. It can't be truth Katie, it's just… It can't be truth…" I was trying to convince myself though I knew there was no point in that.

Katie drew herself up and sighed.

"I mean it, Emsie. It was you who made me understand it. I can't lose her. And I won't give up. I care about your happiness, but I can't do that, I'm sorry. I will fight for her."

I saw tears filling her eyes. I stood up and looked her in the eye.

"I'll do anything it takes to get her back. I don't think I need to say anything more," I said with the self-confidence that I couldn't even feel, looking at broken Katie.

She nodded and called all the courage she could just to give her eyes a cold sight.

"I guess I should go then."

When the door closed behind Katie, I felt tears filling her eyes. I knew that there was only one thing I could do to prevent myself from being killed by pangs of conscience – run away. Fucking again.

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	16. Chapter 16

**Hey everyone! I am really sorry for not updating for such a long time, but I've been **_**really **_**busy with my whole college thing, unfortunately. I still am, but managed to find time to write something (by missing a party ;)). I know it's a really short chapter, but I will probably update tomorrow the longer (and more interesting, I hope!) one. **

**Anyway, thank you for your feedback, it makes my day!

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Emily left on Sunday morning without even saying goodbye to Naomi. Katie was triumphing.

"You see? She didn't even say goodbye to you, fucking little prick!" she said to Naomi during their lunch in cafeteria.

Naomi sighed sadly.

"So, you wanna go out tonight?" asked Katie, not even discouraged by Naomi's lack of enthusiasm.

"I don't think so. I have Politics exam tomorrow, I have to be prepared, 'cause Kieran is gonna kill me, really. I have recently totally screwed up that whole college thing…"

"Oh," Katie mumbled. "Well, whatever. We can go somewhere tomorrow."

Naomi rolled her eyes, but to her disappointment, Katie didn't notice it.

"Yeah, sure," she said finally, just to make Katie fuck off. She decided to think about some excuse later.

She was really, really thankful when finally the school bell rang and she could leave Katie and go to her Arts class. Great, nothing to do on Arts, she could do some thinking.

That whole situation about Katie being in love with her made Naomi completely upset. She was so happy that finally, after all those months, she and Katie managed to become true best friends and now it turned out that it wasn't even real. Now everything became so clear – the way Katie was looking at her, the way Katie was hugging her, the way she was willing to cheer her up every fucking time Naomi was sad because of Emily…

Fuck.

And now Katie was acting like nothing happened and it was driving Naomi crazy, 'cause she still could see those looks Katie was giving her when she thought Naomi didn't see and she knew that is expecting her to decide sooner or later. And she also was sure that that whole "giving time" thing was not going to last forever.

Naomi had no idea what to do – try to forget about Emily and find herself a boyfriend? Or maybe try to forget about Emily by being with Katie? But would she be able to forget the one she ever loved while being with someone so similar to that person? It was a difficult question, especially considering the fact that she was completely dumbfounded by the whole situation – her best friend being in love with her? And, hey, actually why? Why did Katie want her? Has she wanted her for a long time and now found courage to say it out loud? Or maybe she really has wanted her only since Emily left? Too much questions, too few answers, as always when it came to her feelings.

Naomi didn't even know why she felt in love with Ems so easily. She has never felt that way before. She didn't even know her well – actually, she didn't know her at all! So maybe it was only lust and desire? Maybe. She knew that she probably will never have a chance to answer that question. And, on the other hand, she knew Katie, right? And she loved her, but she has always considered those feelings for her best friends as sisterly. Maybe it was a time to give their relationship more meaning? To _try_?

She could try, right? She could…

"Katie?" Naomi said when they were coming back home from school. She said it so quietly that she (suddenly terrified) felt hope that Katie didn't hear.

"Yeah?" Well, okay, she did hear her.

"You know, I've been thinking…" she hesitated for a moment.

"And…?" It seemed that Katie immediately understood what Naomi's been thinking about.

Naomi cleared her throat.

"Uhm, can you stop for a second?"

Katie frowned, surprised, but did what Naomi asked.

"Close your eyes."

Katie closed her eyes obediently, but still seemed a bit dumbfounded.

Naomi sighed and leant in. Her lips found Katie's lips and…

Nothing. No desire, no lust when they touched. Maybe a bit of pleasure, but probably only because of the fact of kissing, not because of the person she _was_ kissing.

Naomi pulled back slightly and opened her mouth to say that she didn't feel anything for Katie more than friendship, but then Katie beamed and grasped her hand, lacing their fingers together.

"I understand," Katie said and rested her head on Naomi's shoulder.

_So, there was no way back.

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_**The review whore is back! ;))**


	17. Chapter 17

**Next chapter… A LOT longer, as I promised. ****:))**

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Two weeks have passed and they were still together. Actually it was sort of nice – they were together even at school and there were not many people having some rude comments about that (probably it has something to do with the fact that Katie and Naomi were the most popular girls in Roundview). Funny, but majority of people found it hot and it seemed that they don't consider that whole relationship between Katie and Naomi as real, only as some kind of an experiment. Naomi was happy about that. It was cool, as long as she found herself not having any feelings for Katie, no matter how hard she was trying to love her. And she really _was _trying!

Katie, on the other hand, was annoyed by the whole "experiment" thing.

"God, can't they just get over it?" she said one day while opening her locker. "We are together, it's not a fucking straight-girls experiment!"

Naomi didn't answer, too busy thinking about Emily. Again. Katie sighed, irritated, and waved her hand in front of Naomi's eyes, yelling "Hello?".

Naomi blinked.

"What?"

"I'm talking to you, may you notice? Don't all these people annoy you? They even don't believe that we're fucking together. God damn!" she shouted, slamming her locker's door.

"Oh, yeah," mumbled Naomi, completely uninterested, having in mind her and Emily's first and only kiss that meant whole world to her.

"Irritating."

"For fuck's sake, Naomi, it's _our_ problem! Jesus Christ, whatever. You wanna come to my place in the evening? My parents are going to a party and-"

"Sure," Naomi answered, cutting her off. "See you at eight? Got to go to my Math class, sorry honey," she said, placing a kiss on Katie's cheek. Katie smiled and for a second Naomi felt huge pain in her heart, remembering Emily's god-oh-so-sweet smile…

Every fucking day for fucking two weeks Emily was the only person Naomi could think about. Fuck. Kissing Katie – thinking about Emily. God, every time she was trying to imagine that it was Emily she was kissing (hey, it wasn't even _that _hard with closed eyes…). Being with Katie was something she should have never agreed on. She wasn't attracted to her at all, she should have told her! And Katie was so happy being with her. It was like all her dreams coming true.

What's weird, is that they still didn't have sex yet. At first Naomi thought that it was because it was the first gay relationship for both of them and that Katie didn't want that either. But then she noticed that Katie was obviously trying to get closer, her kisses became more passionate, her hands were always travelling through whole Naomi's body, trying to rip Naomi's top off and… Naomi was always the one to stop it when things were going too far.

More and more frequently could she see the hurt expression on Katie's face and it was causing Naomi pain, 'cause she knew very well that Katie really loves her (and she knew what it means to love someone who doesn't love you back). But she didn't feel like doing such a big step with someone she doesn't love.

That day she knew it was going to be exactly the same – Katie was going to try and Naomi was going to stop.

"Heyyy," she said when Katie opened the door at eight o'clock.

"Come in," said Katie, letting her in. "Go to the living room, I'll join you in a second."

Naomi nodded and went to the living room. When she passed the door, she noticed candles standing everywhere, spaghetti on the table, petals of rose lying around…

"Sit down," she heard Katie's voice behind her back. She turned around and saw her, holding a bottle of wine and two goblets in her hands.

Naomi smiled, came closer to Katie and kissed her forehead.

"You're such a perfect girlfriend, Katie," she whispered.

Katie chuckled, but Naomi noticed a bit of sadness in her eyes. She took the bottle from her hands and made her way to the sofa. Katie followed her and they both sat down, surrounded by soft, fashionable cushions.

The spaghetti was delicious. Naomi had to admit that Katie is a fantastic cook.

Bottle of wine later Katie became a bit more talkative.

"Naomi…" she started and hesitated.

"Yes?" Naomi looked at her, smiling.

Katie took a deep breath.

"I just want you to know, Naomes… You're really important for me. And I have never felt this way before, but I found that the most important thing for me is _your_ happiness, not mine. So, after those two weeks, I have to ask you… Do you love me?"

Naomi could see how much pain it causes Katie to say something like that. She froze and looked her in the eye.

"Katie, it's…"

She didn't have a chance to finish the sentence, because Katie's phone rang. Katie looked at the ID and raised here eyebrow, but pushed the green button.

After few seconds Naomi could feel that something was wrong. She heard muffled voice from the phone and even though she couldn't understand the words, she could hear the calling person is truly panicked. Katie, on the other hand, didn't say a word, she was just sitting with her phone glued to her ear, looking completely shocked, her mouth opened widely, her eyes looking at Naomi with a frightened expression. Finally, after few minutes that seemed like forever to Naomi, Katie put her phone away and stood up, completely terrified. She was looking around as if she was waiting for someone to come out and say it was a joke. But it didn't happen. Naomi had no idea what to do. She was too scared to even think about what happened. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to ask Katie about it. Finally she stood up, came closer to Katie and placed her hands on her girlfriend's shoulders.

"Katie," she said quietly and forced her to look her in the eye. These were full of fear, disbelief and pain and Naomi felt her heart skipping a bit. "What's wrong, Katie?"

Katie caught a breath desperately.

"It's Emily…" Naomi froze. "Suicide… Aaron called… Manchester…," she said through tears.

Naomi's jaw dropped.

"Car," she mumbled and went out of the house, got to her car and started it. Katie joined her in few minutes, holding her phone in her hand.

"My parents don't answer the phone. Fucking party," she muttered, sobbing.

"Katie…" Naomi started, not sure if she wanted to hear an answer. "Is she… dead?"

"N-no, she's in the hospital, but she was close to death. God… She's in coma."

Naomi gulped, not letting the tears into her eyes, trying to focus on the road.

They didn't say anything more. Katie was trying to reach her parents and finally, after an hour, they answered. Katie told them what happened, at the same time sobbing and screaming.

"It's the Bridgewater Hospital, next to her school."

Naomi nodded. She knew the way.

They got to the hospital long after midnight.

"You think they'll let us in?" Naomi asked doubtfully.

"Fuck! They have to!" shouted Katie and pushed the door with far more strength that she needed. They got to the reception.

"We are searching for Emily Fitch," said Katie to the young doctor, trying to sound normal, though she has spent last three hours crying (and the tears were still falling down her cheeks, not to mention her red eyes and totally ruined make-up).

He looked at them, surprised.

"It's after midnight-"

"She was trying to commit a suicide," Katie cut him off. "We came here from Bristol as fast as we were able to. You really think that we'll go away without seeing her… sir?"

The doctor sighed.

"Are you her family?"

"Yes," they both answered.

The doctor raised his eyebrow.

"We're her sisters," added Katie.

He looked at Naomi in disbelief, but nodded.

"Fine. Follow me."

They reached a ward's door with an 113 number on it. The doctor opened the door. They noticed a tall figure standing near the window. Aaron looked at them, came closer to Katie and hugged her. Now they were both sobbing. Naomi looked at Emily's face, so peaceful and beautiful, but at the same time full of some kind of hidden pain. She got to the bed and grasped Emily's hand. She finally felt tears falling down her cheeks.

"She is really lucky to be alive. I have never had such a case before. She must have been really desperate to die, because not only did she slash her wrists, but also took a lot of drugs and drank a bottle of vodka. It was the last second when she got here, she could be dead in few minutes," the doctor said.

Naomi heard Katie breathing loudly.

"I'll leave you alone, but please be quiet. I broke the rules by letting you in," he said.

"Thank you," Katie whispered. He left and closed the door quietly.

They were all standing there, looking at Emily and not saying a word. Finally Aaron broke the silence between them.

"Naomi…" he said, taking out an envelope from his bag's pocket.

Naomi looked at him, but immediately looked at Emily back, she didn't want to miss any second of looking at her.

"Yeah?" she mumbled.

"I… ehm, it was lying next to her when I found her. I didn't open it," he handed an envelope to Naomi, who took it, reading the little written saying "Naomes" on it. She looked at Katie and Aaron.

"I'll be back soon, I'll bring you some coffee," she said.

None of them answered, they were just staring at Emily's bandaged wrists and that whole apparatus that was giving her life.

Naomi left the room and sat on a chair opposite the door. Her heart stopped beating for a second when she opened the envelope which fell on the ground when she took out a letter.

_Dear Naomi,_

_When you're reading it, I am probably no longer alive. I am sorry that I start this letter like that, I am just really not good at showing my feelings. And that's why I have no idea how to say what I want to say. Maybe I'll start from the beginning._

_Do you remember my reaction when I saw you before Katie's "Audrey Hepburn Style" party? I said "Shit". You must have thought I am a freak. But I reacted in that way because actually, it wasn't the first time when I saw you._

Naomi breathed hard. What?

_Roundview College Open Day. I remember how much I was upset when Katie said she wanted to go there. I thought "fucking god, missing a day of my holidays to see some stupid school?". But well, Katie is my sister and so I had no choice but to do what she asked me for. Actually, as you will find out while reading that letter, I am able to sacrifice far more than one day of my holiday for her. So we went there, and there were a huge crowd of people. God, I had no idea what I was doing there. We were near the Politics stall when I bumped into someone accidentally._

_I looked up and saw you._

_You were taller than me and obviously too busy looking at a really handsome guy on the other end of the hall to notice some random redhead rushing in you. You didn't even look at me, not even for a second. I said "sorry" and then Katie grasped my hand and took me to Arts stall._

_I've been thinking about you all the time since that fucking open day. And once, few days later, I saw you on the street. God, I was so happy, it was like all my dreams coming true. You were looking so beautiful, you were wearing a knee-length skirt, black tights, white top and a black leather jacket. I was just about to come closer to you and, I don't know, ask you what time it was or whatever, when I saw him. That handsome guy you were looking at when I saw you for the first time. I felt like a part of me has died right at that moment. And I understood I had no chances because you'll never be interested in someone like me. That was when I decided I had to leave Bristol. To run away from everything. From you._

_The rest you know – college in Manchester, relationship with Aaron, started only to forget about you. But I have never managed to do it, no matter how hard I was trying. You were everywhere I was._

_One day I decided it was the right time to visit Bristol. I was really afraid, it was terrifying experience for me, even before Katie introduced me to her best friend. To you. _

_I guess it's the time to say sorry to you for my reaction. I'm just a really pathetic actress when I am surprised. But what happened, happened. And when you stayed with me for a night when Katie was having a date with Peter... God, you have no idea how much I had to try not to kiss you. Then the party… And I couldn't stop myself any longer. But you reacted just in a way I was expecting – the most painful way. By pulling back and yelling at me. I had to leave._

_When you came to visit me I was a little bit better actress, I guess. I had to tell you I was in love with Aaron, I didn't want you to feel guilty for my state, I didn't want to force you to do anything. And after that Katie told me that you visited me in Manchester only to yell at me for what happened at the party, but suddenly felt sorry for me and decided not to say anything._

_When I came to visit Bristol again, I had no idea you'll be at the dinner. I have told the whole story to Katie on the airport and I thought she'd have enough sympathy not to bring you. But she obviously didn't. And when I heard you talking in the bathroom… Before that I was sure you have no feelings for me, nothing. But you did. And I wanted to run to you and kiss you and, God… But then I talked to Katie. And she told me she was in love with you. I couldn't do anything, Naomi, she's my sister. And her happiness has always been more important for me than mine._

_Anyway, I can't stand it any longer. I tried everything – parties, drugs, alcohol, one night stands… Everything. It doesn't help, Naomi. I love you and I know that I can't have you. I don't want to live like that. Without you, I don't want to live at all._

_Don't feel guilty, Naomi. Actually you're the only person that wanted me for who I was. And I didn't take it. Now I am the one who has to pay._

_Forever yours,_

_Emily_

The letter was completely wet with her tears when Naomi stopped reading. She was sobbing uncontrollably. For a second she even believed Emily has really died.

She had no idea how long she was sitting there, crying, unable to do anything else, when suddenly the door opened and she saw Katie.

Katie didn't ask any questions, she just hugged her and helped her to calm down. When finally she was able to say anything, she asked "Will you and Aaron give me a minute with Emily?".

Katie nodded and stood up, then came inside Emily's ward and told Aaron to go with her. He agreed instantly and they left Naomi alone with Emily.

Naomi sat down on a chair next to Emily's bed.

She cleared her throat, grasping Emily's hand, sighed and started her speech.

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**God, I am so pathetic, but actually I was almost crying while writing that chapter... xDD**


	18. Chapter 18

**Next chapter! Hope you like it. :)**

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"I will never be able to explain the way you made me feel when I saw you for the first time, Ems," she said, tears falling down her cheeks again. "And the way you make me feel every time when I see you since then. I…" her voice broke slightly, but she took a deep breath and continued.

"I will never forgive myself that I didn't notice you on that fucking open day. If I did, that whole shit would probably never happen and now we'd be together, happier than ever. But I can't turn the clock back, though it's the only thing I want to do now… I wasn't given a chance to tell you that, Ems, but… When I saw you before that party, it was like thunderbolt, like being punched in my head with a heavy rock. It was the first time I felt that way, and I didn't want to stop it. When you kissed me, it meant more than the whole world to me. But I remembered Aaron and I knew, Ems, I knew that you'd regret it sooner or later. And because actually you are the only person, except for my mom, that I have ever really cared about, I couldn't let it happen. I decided to sacrifice my own happiness for you. I had no idea you broke up with him… And what's more, suddenly I even felt like you used me, like a fucking party experiment. God, I felt like all those boys I hooked up with before. I was hurt and upset, but I realized that it actually doesn't matter who I am for you, as long as you are happy…"

"Though, I couldn't stop loving you and I wanted you back, but then Katie said you were happy with Aaron and… I believed her, Ems. She is my best friend, was I supposed to assume that she's lying to me? So though I thought you and Aaron were a pretty happy couple, I decided to try once again. To make sure I was just an experiment to you, nothing more. I went to Manchester and got what I wanted. You made me sure I meant nothing. It was when the whole life stopped making sense for me. You… Are everything I ever wanted, Ems… I started that relationship with Katie, because I thought I will be able to forget about you. I thought it was possible for me to fall in love with her. It wasn't, Ems. I couldn't stop thinking about you, no matter how much I wanted to. And starting that relationship… I will always regret it, 'cause it was deceiving not only Katie. It was deceiving myself."

"When Aaron called…" she sobbed. "All that mattered was to see you, Ems. I love you. And I know it, 'cause when I think about the future, I have no idea what it will look like – what car I will drive, what job I will have… All I know is that no matter what the rest will be, it won't make sense without you. Ems, please… Wake up…" she pleaded through tears. Her voice broke completely, she wasn't able to say anything more, she was just sitting there, holding Emily's hand tightly, as if it was the only thing to rely on and sobbing quietly, with such a pain that no razor blades and no needles could ever cause.

Finally she heard someone knocking on the door.

"Yeah?" she asked so quietly that she could barely hear herself. The door opened slowly and she saw Katie, rather tired and a bit… scared?

"Naomi, I—" she started saying, but Naomi cut her off.

"We have to talk, Katie," she said and Katie just nodded obediently and opened the door wider to walk inside the room.

Naomi stood up. "Not here, let's have a walk," with that she passed by Katie and waited for her girlfriend to join her on the hall. Katie spent few seconds staring at her motionless sister, but eventually just sighed and came closer to Naomi. They started walking along the passage.

"I love her, Katie," said Naomi quietly after few minutes of bothersome silence. She heard Katie catching a breath desperately and she felt like shit.

"I loved her from that moment before your party, when I saw her for the first time. I have no idea how it happened, it just did. And you were the only person who I trusted enough to tell the whole story, and still you let me think Emily didn't want me. Your sick games almost killed her, Katie," there were no emotions in Naomi's voice, she was feeling so empty inside, knowing that Emily is lying in the bed, pale and lonely, and that the only thing that is keeping her alive is that huge apparatus, so untrustworthy.

"_My_ sick games? Well, Naomi, guess you underrate your own achievements. You fucking made her leave her home! _Three times_!"

"I didn't know her, Katie, and you didn't tell me—"

"Oh, yes, and hey, then you started going out with me just to," Katie's voice broke slightly. "just to check how it feels to be with a girl, yes?"

"Katie, I wanted to tell you—"

"Really? When? While kissing me, or maybe during one of our dates? Wait, hey, I know, were you waiting for us to fuck to tell me?" Katie yelled and Naomi saw her eyes filling with tears.

She felt guilty, no matter how sure she was that all that happened was mostly Katie's fault.

"Katie, I can't fight fate…"

"It's not fate, it's your fucking imagination!"

"What?" Naomi stopped immediately, and looked at Katie in disbelief. Katie started sobbing quietly and looked Naomi in the eye.

"I love you," she muttered.

"I'm sorry, Katie, it's—"

"No," Katie cut her off again. "I love you and you knew it when you fucking started that whole 'relationship' thing between us! You pretended you love me too!" she cried.

Naomi was shocked. She had no idea Katie loved her that much.

"It was not pretending, Katie. I love you like a sister. I know I should've told you long time ago. And I should've known I will never feel _that_ feeling for you. I know it will take a lot of time for scars to fade, but… I want you to read it," she said, handing Katie Emily's letter. And I want to say that no matter what, you will always be really important to me, Katie. Even now, when your secrecy almost killed the only person I love," she said and walked away, directing her steps towards Emily's ward. She opened the door and she saw Aaron. She was prepared for it. Another difficult conversation.

"Aaron—" she said quietly, but he cut her off, shaking his head slowly.

"You don't have to, Naomi. She loves you, she has loved you for a very long time. I should have figured it out months ago. She told me about you before we started going out together, she just didn't mention your name… and gender. Um…" He put his hand to his pocket and took something out. He handed it to Naomi. It was a key. "It's a key to her flat. I thought that maybe you will need it. I'll go home now. I hope she will wake up soon," he said and went to the door. When he passed by Naomi, she turned round to face him.

"Aaron?" she asked.

"Yes?" he stopped, but didn't look at her.

"Thank you."

Aaron took a deep breath.

"It's not easy, you know. I love her too."

Naomi just nodded sadly and Aaron, not hearing an answer, sighed and walked away, closing the door.

Naomi sat near the bed again, stroking Emily's hand, when suddenly the door opened and she saw Jenna, Rob and Katie.

"Oh, honey, what have you done?"

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**I know it sucks a lot, I guess I'm not the best one to write chapters that are meant to be sad. ;D**

**Anyway, review! No matter if you like my story or not, it means a lot to me to know what you think about it! :)**


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